Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
