i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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