what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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