So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
