My Higher Power is John Stamos
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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