today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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