I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
