For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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