my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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