butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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