Your mouth is God's brothel.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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