New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
