Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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