You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
