Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
