Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
