Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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