worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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