I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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