i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
