we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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