OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
