There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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