I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
