bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Cover your peen. We're going out.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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