I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
