marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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