i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
