it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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