last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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