"it" just moved
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
