I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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