Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
