Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
