i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My dick has a subreddit
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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