i just wanna soil my oats bro
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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