Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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