I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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