thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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