Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
