dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
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When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
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She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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