I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
