Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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