Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
