She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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