I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
