Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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