it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
