On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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