fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
