Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
