our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
