she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize