The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
