I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
