I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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